Hello beautiful souls,
One of the biggest points of focus right now in my work has been reparenting. I get many emails each week asking me how to deal with emotions and how to “get rid of” negative emotional cycles. The truth is we don’t want to “get rid of anything.” But we do want to integrate those parts of ourselves that we have either “agreed” to abandon or that still hold onto past trauma or pain.
Think about it for a second. If our 5 year old is having a tantrum, we don’t tell it to get over it and we certainly don’t get rid of our 5 year old, ha ha. So, we must start to treat our negative emotions the same way we WISHED our negative emotions in childhood were dealt with. Personally, I would have loved for someone to tell me that what I was feeling made sense, was valid and that it was ok to feel what I feel. I would have also loved to be told that my emotions are not who I am. If I act “badly” that does not mean I am bad, etc.
So, when we are “reparenting” our negative emotions, we are becoming that unconditional, conscious, emotionally available, compassionate, empathic parent each and everyone of us needed and deserved.
Let’s be honest, parents have challenges and life can make people unavailable and act in all sorts of ways. We can’t always blame our parents, BUT we also don’t have to continue to treat our own inner child the way we were sometimes treated. We get to “UPGRADE” the way we parent ourselves to align with what we truly NEED.
As we get real about how we truly feel, we get in touch with what is happening now. An example of reparenting goes as follows.
Me: I feel upset because I am all alone in quarantine and I am starting to have anxiety and over eat.
Higher Self (reparent): Yep, that makes sense that you are using food as a coping mechanism to deal with your anxiety. Food can numb out those feelings and fill you up so that you don’t feel alone. However may I suggest something else?
Me: Thanks for understanding and not judging me as WRONG. Yes, I am open to suggestions.
Higher Self (reparent): Love the part of you who feels lonely and anxious. What she needs most is YOU to be present with her.
We can use this type of example for most things. The reality is that we just need our own PRESENCE. We need an unconditional energy and we need to stop judging how we feel as needing to be different.